Khmer Wedding

Wedding Venue

Yesterday, I attended my first Khmer Wedding. And by attended, I mean I was a guest at the dinner, which is a very small part of the wedding. I still don't know all the details of what happens at a wedding, but I do know that the ceremonies start for close family and friends the evening, then begin again the next morning with a fruit procession prior to breakfast. There are other ceremonies throughout the day, up until dinner, which is the part that most of the guests (normally numbering around 200 people) are invited to, which is followed by dancing. All these events include several outfit changes for the bride, groom, bridal party, and close relatives. While I do hope to attend more part of weddings in the future, I did enjoy just attending the dinner reception for my Rep's sister.

At the wedding with some of the MCC Staff

Khmer weddings are not only long affaires, they are also very formal- especially for women. Men can get away with just dress shirts or traditional style silk shirts, slacks, and dress shoes (no ties necessary), but women go all out. Many female guests go to the salon to have their hair and make-up done professionally, including up-dos, fake eyelashes,and lots of powder. Dresses are extremely formal. Wedding guest attire for women ranges from traditional (or modernized traditional) style blouses and silk skirts, to extremely formal (and often slightly gaudy) gowns, to western style short dresses. These dresses are often either made specially for the wearer by a tailor, or are hand made at a market and tailored to fit.

Posing with MCC Staff

Since it was my first wedding, and I've been warned that I will probably attend many over the next 2.5 years, I bought myself a locally made gown. One of the other MCC Service Workers kindly accompanied me, and we walked around one of the markets for a few hours looking at and trying on dresses, until I circled back around to one of the first ones I tried on. I considered getting my hair and makeup done, but I decided just to do it myself- especially since not much can be done to dress up my hair as short as it is.

Inside the wedding venue

I arrived at the wedding, which was held in a fancy tent on the street in front of property owned up the family, by tuktuk with some of the other Service Workers around 5:30pm. We were greeted by the bridal party and other members of the family at the entrance, which was also set up for formal photography. We then found a table and waited for the other MCC staff who were attending, as well as some representatives from our partner organizations, to arrive.

Dinner at the wedding

Once our table was full, we were served our 7 course meal. Each guest had a glass, a plate, a bowl, chopsticks, and a soup spoon. The food was placed on a turntable and we each served ourselves by picking what we wanted up with our chopsticks. I am still not very adapt with chopsticks (ok, fine, about all I can manage to eat with them is noodle soup) so I tried to be patient with myself. The meal included cashews, fish, duck, noodle salad with shrimp, and several other mostly meat dishes- the last dish before desert though was the obligatory rice. While we were eating a band played for us.

Our table spent some time chatting after we finished eating, but we soon all decided that we were not going to stay for dancing- we all had to work the next morning. So we gave the family our wedding presents (envelopes with money, as is expected), took pictures with the bride and groom, took some more group pictures, and then were on our way. The other Service Workers and I were give a ride to the MCC office by some friends, and then drove our motos home- which was a feat in my gown.

Moto Adventures

This holiday season has been full of unexpected, moto adventures. I knew coming to Cambodia that I'd have to learn to drive a motorbike (it's more of a motorscooter than a motorcycle). My first driving lesson was during my first week, when I went with the YALT group to Prey Vang. It wasn't a very long lesson, because it started raining during my 2nd lap of the street. I didn't get on a moto, solo, again until the end of November. During that lesson I did a couple laps around the block. I managed to fall 3 times in less than half an hour. But, my wonderful teacher Tony didn't see me, and some really nice motodop drivers helped me pick the moto back up- it was clear to them that I had no idea what I was doing.

After that I was on my own. I knew I needed to learn to drive, but I really didn't want to. I was so tense and nervous during my second lesson that my upper back and shoulders were sore the next day. But, I did it, I made myself drive on the back roads around the office. A few weeks later I made myself drive over to the grocery store. But, I still hated having to get on the moto. 

Then on the day of the MCC Christmas party I found myself in a sticky situation. All of the YALTers were in town so all of the MCC bikes were in use. Without a bike my choices of transportation to the party, at the Reps' House, were to walk, motodop, or drive myself. I called my parents before the party so I didn't have time to walk there, and I never learned the landmark to use to tell a motodop how to get to the Reps' House. So, after an internal pep talk, I forced myself to drive the moto. It was a quiet Saturday morning, so there wasn't much traffic on the main roads. I was able to easily drive myself to the house, even through the round about. At the end of my party I gave myself another pep talk and drove on home again.

The only time after that I needed to give myself a pep talk to drive was on Christmas Day when I met up with some of the other Service Workers for Christmas Dinner. 

Next thing I knew, I was driving everywhere. I drove to WPM, and then after work drove out to the River Side to meet up with a visit from Swarthmore. I didn't exactly know where I was going, so I almost ended up driving over a bridge and out of the city. Thankfully, there was a place to make a u-turn before actually getting on the bridge. According to Google Maps the drive should take about 15 minute, but between traffic and my unexpected detour, it took me about 40 minutes. Thankfully the people I was meeting were extremely understanding.

Since then I have made moto my primary form of transportation, including driving the 30+ minutes to RISC multiple times now. And I've even driven with someone else on it with me (which I will admit was pretty stressful and difficult at first, but got better as the day went on). I'm going to try to keep riding my bike for shorter trips, but I've learned that I really enjoy motoing places. Maybe I'll get a motorcycle when I'm back in the States...

Moving Out

Hanging out on my balcony

Moving into my first apartment didn't involve searching for the perfect furniture, or picking up a free old sofa on the street, or getting sheets and towels from my mom. Instead moving into my first apartment involved searching through the Reps' house for furniture and housewares left over from former MCCers. This meant that after the big move I realized I had an abundance of some things (40 dinner plates, anyone?), a lack of some necessary items (why are there no extension cords?), and a collection of things that I don't know how to use or are not useful for me (anyone need to know how to store breast milk?). All in all though, moving out on my own has been just as much of a wacky experience as I expected it to be.

View at sunset from my balcony

I knew coming in that I was only going to be living with my amazing host family for two months, and despite loving them with all my heart I was ready to know the sound of silence again. Near the end of October, Denise helped me look for my own apartment. Back home apartment hunting would involve looking on Craigslist and other websites. Here in Cambodia, it meant driving around the city looking for "For Rent" signs. Denise and I spent several hours riding around on her moto trying to find an affordable and nice place. After looking at or inquiring about 14 different places, we decided to head back to the office and call it a day. We took one of the back roads, and noticed another "For Rent" sign. We decided to check it out.

Current bedroom decorations

The landlady came out to meet us and agreed to show us the apartments. She explained that they were just finishing renovating the house. The third and fourth floor were completely redone, and each floor was one apartment. We first checked out the apartment on the third floor. It was very nice. A little over budget though, and I really had no need for a second bedroom. So, we asked to see the one bedroom apartment on the fourth floor. I was skeptical from the moment I saw the stairs- it was basically a ladder placed at an angle. Then we stepped into the apartment. It was beautiful! A big open main room to be used as a kitchen and living room, a spacious bedroom with double doors out to the wrap around balcony, white tile flooring, lovely seafoam green walls, and lots of light throughout. Denise and I kept looking at each other with expressions that clearly said, "This is it!" We had an appointment to see another apartment the next day, so it was a few days before I could officially agree to rent to the place.

Elephants in my kitchen

Two weeks later, with the assistance of the Reps and several MCC employees, I moved into my apartment. I've been living there for almost a month now, and I love it. I'm still in the process of making it feel like home, but it's coming along and I have big plans (ok not that big, creative decorating is not my strong suit, I just want some plants and lamps and stuff).

Make-shift curtain until they're made

Living alone is very different from anything I've ever done before, and a lot quieter than living with a host family, but I am truly enjoying it. Hopefully the alone time will encourage me to actually pick up some hobbies (goals include sewing and yoga, but neither have made any headway yet).

My 1st Apartment

My bedroom, as seen from the balcony

Part of my balcony (it wraps around the front too)

Kitchen and front door

Kitchen

Living room

Host Sibling Cuteness

My host siblings are adorable little trouble makers. There are two girls who live in my house, a 5 year old and a 7 year old, and a 6 year old boy cousin who lives downstairs.

A few weeks ago we were playing outside, so I offered to buy them ice cream. It was cheap and they enjoyed it, and really I bought it because I wanted ice cream. Last week, I was in my room reading, while Maac was outside, and the three children were in the living room. I could hear the children playing around and I kept hearing the words the word "eat" followed by a word I didn't know. A few minutes later, they burst into my room, and kept repeating this phrase. I told them I didn't understand. So they told me, "Go outside! Go down[stairs]!" I surrendered, grabbed 2 dollars out of my purse just in case, and allowed them to drag me down the stairs, thinking that we were going to sit with Maac. The two older ones took me hands, and the younger one held her sister's other hand, and they marched me out past where Maac was sitting, and down the street. At that point I realized what they were doing. They were taking me to the only store on the street that has ice cream. I was being forced to buy them ice cream. The ice cream was super cheap so I bought it for them ($0.25 per prepackaged cone), and chatted with the shopkeepers while they started eating. When we got back to the house, Maac had come inside and I'm pretty sure the first thing they said to her was "Look, Hannah bought us ice cream!"


The other night I was again in my room reading. Maac was out and my host sisters were in the living room playing. I'd go out and join them periodically, but not as much as they wanted. Suddenly, I heard the younger one scream. Not a play scream either but a scream that said something was terribly wrong. I hadn't heard a crash or bang or anything like that so my actual first thought was that they had set something on fire, since the 7 year old is allowed to use the lighter. I jumped out of my bed and ran into the living room. The two girls were laying on the floor, they took one look at me burst into giggles. I tried to impart to them that doing that kind of thing was bad, and returned to my room. Upon my return, the youngest started screaming again. I mumbled about the boy who cried wolf to myself while I settled onto my bed.

I'm so glad to have these children in my life. They love to mess around, and have now gotten into the habit of begging me to buy them ice cream ("Me, me, me, ice cream?!"), and I can't imagine doing this host family thing without them. They love to practice speaking English with me and are delighted when I speak to them in Khmer.

Goal for the coming week: to get them to stop asking me what I'm doing when I'm in the bathroom.

Khmer Letters

The ones in blue I got right on the first try

Today was a milestone moment in my Khmer writing class. I have officially finished learning all the consonants and vowels! I even was able to write most of them without help.

Nyam Baay! Eat rice!

In Khmer, you would never just say "I eat" (knom nyam). "I eat" must have a food or drink attached to it, for example coffee, or cake, or fruit. If you mean to describe eating a meal though you say "I eat rice" (knom nyam baay), because it's not really considered a meal if there's no rice (rice noodles sometimes count). Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are, respectively, morning rice, afternoon rice, and evening rice. Rice dishes are typical eaten with a spoon. If you have a fork it is used only to assist in putting food on your spoon, it is not put in your mouth. I have yet to be given a knife to use during a Khmer meal. Noodle dishes, though, especially soups, are eaten with chopsticks. I have no ability to use chopsticks, so whenever I eat noodle dishes I end up using them like a fork. I think I'm getting better at controlling them though!

Kuy teav, picture from Wikipedia

For breakfast most days I go out to a haang baay (rice shop aka restaurant). Many people eat breakfast at restaurants here- because it's cheap and cooking breakfast is labor intensive. Common breakfast dishes include rice porridge, rice with pork (or chicken, or egg), ramen noodle soup, or a rice noodle soup (the soups can be with or without meat). I haven't gotten used to the idea of eating rice for breakfast, so I order the rice noodle soup, called kuy teav, without meat everyday. I told one of my Khmer teachers that I get it without meat and he told me that the staff at the restaurant must think I'm very strange. I really love this soup. It's a light broth, thin rice noodles, green onions, a little lettuce, bean sprouts, and something else that I haven't figure out what it is. Most mornings I add lime juice, sriracha, soy sauce, and fish sauce to it to add flavor. I've also seen people add hoisin sauce, salt, and pepper to it.

Lok Lak, picture from Joy Ceira Cooks

I generally eat lunch at the MCC office, with the other service workers and staff. The housekeeper cooks all of us lunch everyday. Lunch normally involves rice, some stir fried vegetables with either fish, chicken, or tofu (most often fish), a soup, and fruit. I have been unable to get myself to like the soups that aren't based around rice noodles, but I do enjoy the rice dishes. One that we had earlier this week, called Lok Lak, included beef, raw veggies, french fries, and an egg, all topped with black pepper sauce. To add any wanted flavor to these meals there is always soy sauce, fish sauce, hot chili sauce, and fish sauce with extremely hot chilis.

My host mom makes dinner in the evening. Dinner usually involves one or two stir fried dishes, normally veggies with a little bit of meat (usually chicken or pork). Often my host mom will also serve some shrimp or small crabs. We all gather on the floor of the main room in the house to eat. Everyone has a spoon and a bowl (well, I'm always given a spoon, a fork, and a plate), and we serve ourselves food. Since I am a guest, my host mom always insisting on serving me rice (adult women normally get their own) and serving me way more than I could ever eat. I always smile and laugh and tell her that she has given me too much, then I either give some of it to my host sisters or return it back to the rice cooker.

Bubble (Milk) Tea

Along with meals, I do a little bit of snacking. My host mom keeps fruit around the house and encourages me to eat it while I'm studying. The other week she was so concerned that I was hungry that she bought a bunch of banana's to keep in my room. There is also a shop around the corner from the office that sells deep fried bananas. I've also become a big fan of iced milk tea, with or without bubbles, so I end up buying it more than I probably should.