Eight Days Left

Eight days from now I will be getting ready to get on plane to go back to the U.S.A. No return ticket. No solid plans to come back to Cambodia or to go to any other foreign country. This is a first for me since graduating college. Since I left the U.S. for Jordan in the summer of 2013, I've never gone back to the States without at least a general plan to leave in a month or so. But now, four years later, I'm going home indefinitely. 

My empty apartment

I moved out of my apartment at the beginning of June. I spent the last two weeks or so of June organizing my things into piles: to MCC, to donate, to sell. Some of the other MCC Service Works came over and claimed some of my belongings, so that it wouldn't all just sit in storage: sheets, spices, cooking utensils, chairs, the refrigerator. The morning of the move, a team of MCCers came over, with some hired help, to move the boxes and furniture. Some things were carried down three treacherous flights of stairs, while others were tied to ropes and hoisted over the balcony. It was an oddly hollow feeling to look around my empty apartment. Evidence of nearly three years of my life, erased from the physical world just like that. I returned a few days later to do a last sweep of the apartment with my landlords, pay my final utilities bill, and return the key. I thanked them for their kindness and everything they've done for me over the years not only in words but by also giving them print of out one of my Khmer style photoshoot pictures. 

Lena and Sumo

Since moving out, I have not been homeless, I have been house and pet sitting for my Reps in their (massive) house. They have a super friendly pitbull, named Lena, who likes nap time, running out of the gate as soon as I open it, and walks, as well as a cat, named Sumo, who likes to cuddle and aggravate my allergies. I've enjoyed having this transition time, and I'm so glad I've had these animals as company because this house is way too big for one person.

Horseback riding on the beach

I've also been lucky enough to get two last trips to the beach in with friends. I did one trip with a friend for a long weekend at the beach, which ended up being cloudy and rainy the whole time but the trip was still exactly what I needed to say goodbye to this friend who has meant so much to me. The second trip I took with two of the SWs and their visiting friend. We spent a couple nights at the beach town of Sihanoukville, where we got massages, went to the beach, and got sunburnt. Their friend and I also went for a trail ride- which was great since I haven't been on a horse in almost two years. We road from the barn to the beach, rode down the beach, then took off the saddles and went swimming with the horses. We walked them out into the water, played a bit, then jumped on and rode around. At one point my poor tiny horse hit a spot that was too deep for him and had to actually swim- our guide did not seem panicked about it so I think it was fine. After we returned the horses to the barn, all four of us jumped on a boat and headed off to Koh Rong Samloem, an island. We stayed on a beautiful white sand beach, with water so clear you could get shoulder deep and still see you feet and your shadow on the ground. There was no internet, so we filled out time with reading, games, and conversations. After dark we waded out into the water and marveled at the bioluminescent plankton- it was so dark you couldn't see your body but ever movement made the water light up and sparkle like stars. This trip will definitely be remembered as one of my favorites. 

Lazy Beach on Koh Rong Samloem

So what am I doing with my last 8 days in Cambodia? Workwise, I'm finishing up a few things with my partner organizations and passing off some of my duties to other staff members. Outside of work, I'm finalizing packing, going on long walks with the dog, spending time with my friends, and getting some last circus classes in. These past three years haven't always been easy, but I wouldn't trade the time or things I've done for anything. While I'm sad that this experience is coming to a close, I look forward to all the adventures to come.

How do we tell the story?

War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

A chemical defoliant tank

While I am a low key history nerd (ok, maybe not that low key) my interests tend to focus more on the cultural side of history and less on wars. This means that while I have some vague memories of discussing the Vietnam War in history classes growing up, I honestly did not know very much. Since moving to South East Asia I've learned a bit more, as the American War, since Cambodia was one of the countries affected by the war. A basic, extremely barebones, summary of the history is while North Vietnam, officially the Democratic Republic of Vietnam, won it's independence from colonial France in 1945 as a communist state, South Vietnam did not gain independence until sometime later. When the South became independent they chose to become a democracy separate from the North. This decision to not unite with the North lead to the war from 1955 until the fall of Saigon in 1975.¹ The War was essentially a proxy war for the Soviet Union and the United States because of the supports they provided.

American military airplane

With this in mind, I headed over to Vietnam for the first time. My first stop was the city of Ho Chi Minh, formerly known as Saigon and the former capital of South Vietnam. The one thing I knew I wanted to do in the city was go to the War Remnants Museum. The entrance to the museum is a courtyard filled with airplanes, tanks, and other vehicles used but the Americans during the war.² It struck me as a bit odd that there weren't Vietnamese vehicles as well, until I realized they really did not have many. The American military had them out armed by a long shot.

Propaganda poster

I started on an exhibit focused on support for a united Vietnam- well, what the Museum colors as support. The examples of support the museum used included the antiwar movement in the United States. This goes against the little I know about the movement, which I always saw a movement against the U.S. involvement in the war, not a support of North Vietnam. Starting from this exhibit made the story the museum was trying to tell very clear: the US was an aggressor who tried to keep the North and South separated, while the South and the rest of the world thought Vietnam should be one whole. This was taken to such an extreme that any kind of dissent against the war was colored at support. They even used the term the War of American Aggression.³ This framing of the story continued throughout the museum with exhibits such as "Aggression War Crimes", which featured examples of war crimes including torture and the murder of civilians committed by the U.S. Military, and one on the continuing effects of Agent Orange and other chemicals.

Example of a trap in Cu Chi

While I continued to digest this narrative, I decided to visit the Cu Chi Tunnels. The Tunnels were used by the Viet Cong and other local communist supporters. Since they were out gunned by the Americans they had to use more innovative strategies to survive. In Cu Chi District they dug a complex series of tunnels, including multiple levels for traveling, fighting, and living. Local community members and the fighters lived in the tunnels with no electricity, and would only come out at night to do things like tend crops, collect weapons or tools left by the Americans, and fight. The tunnels were designed to be just big enough for the Vietnamese to fit, since they were often significantly smaller than American soldiers, and included landmines and traps just incase part of the tunnels were infiltrated. There were other traps in the area, designed to trap and injure anyone you stepped on them, mainly with the goal of capturing them in order to trade the soldiers for supplies including medicine.⁴

Inside a tunnel in Cu Chi

I figured the tour would have a similar slant as the museum, and considering it started with a propaganda video from the 1960's about the the tunnel it easily could have been if it wasn't for our tour guide.⁵ The tour guide made a point of talking about the tunnels as a strategy, and made multiple reference to the Saigon based democratic government of the time. While he did not say anything outright to contradict the narrative of the American aggressor, he also didn't emphasize it, and spoke about the the people in the Cu Chi region who sided with the democracy.

"Hanoi, Hue, Saigon. Homeland is indivisible."

I remember my AP U.S. History teacher once telling me the victor writes history.⁶ This experience both confirmed and denied her theory in my mind. In Vietnam, the victor was clearly telling their narrative of unity and victory over the American aggressors. While in the States we avoid telling the story, and when we do we make it as bare bones as possible and tinged it with regret. I would love to be able to hear other sides of the story- stories of dissent within Vietnam, or stories from those who supported the democracy.

Witnessing these differing narratives, and reflecting upon how they have likely changed since the war itself, makes me wonder about the stories and narratives we will tell about our current world conflicts. In forty years will we avoid talking about Iraq? In fifty years will we speak with regret about our military actions in Syria? And maybe most importantly, what can we do now to make sure we like the stories that will be told?

Disappearing into the Cu Chi tunnels:

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1 That's long enough that young soldiers who fought during the beginning of the war could feasibly have children who were old enough to serve near the end of the war.^↩

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2 There was also a tank at the Cu Chi Tunnels which tourists used as a photo op and jungle gym, while I stood there furious, thinking to myself "this is a weapon meant to destroy and kill."^↩

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3 This reminded me of how some parts of the U.S. talk about the Civil War.^↩

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4 As you can imagine life in underground tunnels wasn't a very hygienic, and a significant number of people who lived in the tunnels died from illness.^↩

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5 After the video, my seat buddy turned to me and jokingly announced "Well, I think I'm a communist now."^↩

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6 Except for the Civil War, according to this teacher.^↩

Made it to the Motherland

Mandy, Justin, and me celebrating Christmas with Grandma

Bois Cheri Tea Plantation

I've put this blog off for a long time. Probably too long. My dad has been chiding me to write it for months now, but I have just not been able to articulate my feelings. I got to spend Christmas in Mauritius this year, with my sister, Mandy, and her husband, Justin. I know what you're thinking "Hannah did another trip to some random, cool, tropical place. So what? What's there to have so many feelings about?" The thing is, this was not just another trip for me. This was a visit to where my mother is from, this was a trip to my homeland, this was the first time I met my grandmother and other members of my extended family, and this was the first time I spent Christmas with family in four years.

Mandy and me by the Indian Ocean in Mahebourg

While my Mom is from Mauritius, I'd never really considered going there. I had thought about going to or even working in Malawi, where my mom spent most her life and where my parents met, but for some reason Mauritius hadn't crossed my mind. That changed in November 2015, when Mandy presented the idea of going to Mauritius for Christmas in a year. At the time it was just so out of my budget that I couldn't really consider it. But, almost a year later in October of 2016, I randomly searched the prices for a flight to Mauritius and discovered a discount airline had just opened up a flight there, for about half the price. While it was still probably out of my budget, I decided it was now or never, and after a little coordination with my sister I booked my trip.

Biking up to the Seven Colored Earths

My mom's sister, Auntie Patty. and her husband, Uncle Antoine, enthusiastically agreed to pick me up from the airport. I was racked with nerves: what if we didn't recognized each other? I walked to the greeting area with a mild level of panic, until I saw a tall young man (who turned out to be my cousin) waving at me and pointing to the side. I followed his directions and approached a man and woman who looked vaguely familiar and were very happy to see me. Thankfully they were the correct people and not some randos.

A bit of circus practice with Mandy

I then spent the rest of the day with them, and spent the night with my Grandmother and my Uncle Eric. You now what's weirdly nerve racking? Meeting your grandmother for the first time. This is especially true when you discover she doesn't really speak much English, and you don't speak French or Mauritian Creole. (Thanks alot for that, Mom and Dad!) But she is adorable, and so sweet, and so loving, that having to mime everything out to each other wasn't terrible.

The next day the family and I met Mandy and Justin at the airport, we got lunch, and then we separated and settled into our hotels. Mandy, Justin, and I spent the next week or so exploring the island, attempting to learn more of the history of the island (I learned the Dutch found it and named it Mauritius which is why the French call it Maurice), biking up mountains, and relaxing at the beach. Spending time with them was so much fun, and I found it especially meaningful since I rarely get the chance to spend time with them.

Christmas Dinner with Uncle Eric and Grandma

On Christmas morning, the three of us jumped into Mandy and Justin's rented car and drove over to Auntie Patty's house, where we joined the rest of the family for Christmas dinner. I had fun chatting with my cousins, and playing with my cousin's adorable son who, with his limited English, invited me to play with him by announcing, "Hannah! Coming play Angry Birds!" After dinner there was a brief exchange of presents. I didn't tell anyone at the time, but this was the first time I had presents to open on Christmas day in four years and I was extremely touched to be included.

The Seven Colored Earths

My last day in Mauritius was a long one. Mandy, Justin, and I checked out of our hotels early in the morning, and went on a hike up a mountain. Between this and the bike ride, I learned Mandy is way too perky about exercise for my taste, and I respond to this by becoming extremely grumpy. While we were unable to go all the way to the way to the top of the mountain, we did get some breath taking views of the island and the ocean. After our hike, we made our way to Mandy and Justin's last hotel where we relaxed and did a bit of exploring. Auntie Patty and Uncle Antoine picked me up in the evening to take me to the airport, with a stop for a late dinner with Grandma and Uncle Eric along the way. A little after midnight, I boarded my plane and left the motherland.

The view from Le Morne Brabant Mountian

I cannot fully express the depth of emotions I felt in Mauritius. All I can say is that I have never been anywhere so beautiful and I cannot wait to go back.

2 Years Down, 1 to Go!

With MCC staff at a Khmer Wedding

I can't believe I didn't post a 2 year anniversary post! Well better late than never!

I've officially been in Cambodia for over two years now. I could never have imagined everything these past two years have held. This year I've been horseback riding, said hello and goodbye to many friends, I held a monkey, I found a new passion in the circus, I've attended weddings, I've visited Kep, Koh Kong, Bangkok, Siem Reap, Angkor Wat, Kuala Lumpur, and Bali, I've climbed a waterfall, I've performed in a choir concert, I've taken a home leave and been able to reconnect with my family and old friends, I've visited the Khmer Rouge Trials twice, I've lead part of a workshop, I've gone on prison visits, I've been to workshops in the province, I've made new amazing friends and reconnected with old ones, and most of all I've learned so much about myself that I'm not sure I could put it all into words.

Riding in Areyksat

Holding a monkey in Kep

Going to a Khmer wedding

Wearing a traditional skirt at a workshop

MCC retreat in Koh Kong

Waterfall during MCC Retreat in Koh Kong

Canal tour in Bangkok

Belle Voce Community Choir Christmas Concert

Celebrating at an MCC Wedding

Thmor Roung during WPM Staff Retreat

Bayon Temple at Angkor Wat

Baltimore with friends on home leave

Philly Friends during home leave

Favorite resturant in Kep

Silks class at the circus

Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur

Terraced farming in Bali with Rachel

Contortion class at the circus

YALT farewell boatride

Hoop/lyra class at the circus

Here's to another year of adventures and learning!

Siem Reap... Finally!

Angkor Wat

WPM Retreat in Sihankouville

I had a quiet holiday season this year. For Christmas, I had a bunch of the other MCCers over for Christmas brunch (which they did most of the cooking for, thanks all!), then for New Years I just spent the evening at home. But, I have gotten some traveling in during the first few weeks of 2016.

First, Women PeaceMakers had a staff retreat, with all of the staff and their families. We all piled into a van, and headed off to Chi Phat, a community based eco-tourism site. Getting there took six hours, driving down windy dirt roads, and crossing a river on a ferry. When we finally arrived at Chi Phat, we found a spot by the river and had a picnic of fresh cooked seafood. After lunch, we got back in the van and headed off to Sihanoukville where we stayed for the next two nights. We spent the next day relaxing and bonding at the beach. The next day we headed back to Phnom Penh via Thmor Roung National Resort, where we had wild boar for lunch and played in the rapids.

Bayon Temple

The next week, I went on vacation to Siem Reap for the first time. Siem Reap is the most popular tourist site in Cambodia, because it hosts the Angkor World Heritage Site, known as Angkor Wat. Angkor Wat is an archaeological site of temples and palaces dating back to at least the 12th Century. The ruins were also where the movie Laura Croft: Tomb Raider was film. While I was there I met up with two of the Cambodia SALT participants, and together we explored the park. We went to watch sunset one evening, then woke up early the next morning to watch the sunrise and to explore the ruins. The archaeological site is huge, way more than someone can see in one day or even a week, so we only saw a few of the buildings before we decided that we were too hot and tired to continue. We went back to my hotel relaxed and took the evening easy.

Ta Prohm

Angkor Wat

Bayon Temple

Fish massage post Angkor Wat